Entry No#12 The killing of Satan

Well, well, well.. looks like someone cut and paste some Frank Frazetta artwork onto some childs depiction of Tom Selleck attacking a ghost lady with an over-large rail spike. I hope that Frazetta demon was stolen, and not actually signed off by him to be used. That would be sad indeed...

Ok, the usual store fading on this one but it's a classic example of the 'more is more' principle. I can imagine the designer talking the producers through his particular box art masterpiece..'We got the devil.. he's a big ass dude, but that's not enough.. throw in a serpent, a rabid dog.. and um.. a mummy! And a shape-changing pixie-creature ghost-woman! Yeah! Pass me the Ketamin..'

Love the tagline.. 'What power should a man possess to challenge the prince of darkness?' Well, quick answer. None. But forget this.. lets see what the film is all about..

IMDB Synopsis: A Filipino-made horror-fantasy movie about a man who is chosen by his dead uncle to battle the forces of evil. He fights a being called "The Prince of Magic," who shoots rays from his hands, makes heads spin around and hypnotizes people. He finally faces Satan himself and engages him in a battle of magic.

Haha, you crazy Filipino bastards.. I guess the title 'The killing of the Prince of Magic' doesn't have the same ring does it. The origin would explain the ripping off of Frazetta's artwork, as no-one cares less for the copyright laws then those crazy, crazy orientals.. Well. Sounds like this could be a pulse-pounding thrill a minute heart-stopper of a flick! Let's see!



Oh you beautiful, crazy bastards... I salute you! Seen the movie? Know something about it? Drop a comment below.

Entry No#11 Wolfman

'Oh man, I'm sorry.. did I go rip out your throat.. gee whizz.. sorry Mister.. It's just, you know, I'm sorta, you know, the Wolfman an' all..' Apologetic. Not a word you associate with any film that has anything to do with Wolfmen or Werewolves.. but apparently this still shot cribbed from the on-set photographer was thought to perfectly represent the intense carnal ferocity of the films subject matter.

You can imagine this Wolfman clearing his throat into a balled fist as he shuffles on his feet before attacking unsuspecting victims. God, what a sad-sack...

IMDB Synopsis: After the death of his Father, Colin Glasgow (Earl Owensby) finds out that his Father and Grandfather were cursed and that they were Werewolves. And now Colin discovers that he also has the curse and he is a werewolf too and he must stop a Satanic Reverend who put the curse on him and his family.

Tsk, isn't it always the way with those Satanic reverends, cursing your family all up? Sheesh.. This has to go in the 'incredibly weak' catagory, and makes you wonder what box art they turned down before settling on this?! A kitten in a Brandy glass? Two rabbits snuggling?

No Youtube trailer or clips as far as I can see.. so screw it, have this instead...



Seen the movie? Know something about it? Drop a comment below.

Entry No# 09 Robot Ninja

Sometimes you see some box art that simply stops you in your tracks.. something so bad, so shoddy that you can't believe it exists. Especially when you consider the seemingly indestructable excellence of the film it's for:  'Robot Ninja'. Sounds like some internet 'meme' doesn't it? And if you try searching 'robot ninja' on Youtube you get all kinds of knowing, tongue-in-cheek bullshit homemade stuff. But no, this was made in 1989. The 80's. Damn you the 80's!

Where to begin.. well..let's glance at the meaingless taglines shall we. 'The ultimate super-hero of the future has arrived.' Ok, so he's not in the future then. He's arrived. He's here.. whatever, this makes my head hurt. Also, 'Tonight, he's deadlier than ever..' Implying..what? Yesterday he was trying to fight crime from a bath? With his hands taped together? With a sock over his head? Yeah, he was awful yesterday.. today however! Ohhh baby!

Then there's the artwork itself. Sweet jesus, look at that thing. Looks like it was cribbed from the 'Trancers' box artwork by some blind half-wit with barely functioning hand to eye coordination. The 'Shredder' style blades coupled with the muddly, fingerless fist..the sci-fi type hockey mask face. Truly bad. Truly awful. Well, perhaps the plot is good?

IMDB Synopsis: Leonard Miller is a frustrated artist. His publisher and his agent are out to capitalize on the blooming success of "Robot Ninja," the greatest costumed superhero since Batman! One night, Miller witnesses the brutal rape/murder of a young couple at the hands of ruthless thugs. He cries out for revenge! With the help of an inventor friend, Dr. Goodknight, Miller becomes the Robot Ninja, stalking the dark streets of Ridgway, intent on spilling some blood! The only thing stopping him is a remorseful Goodknight and a frustrated local cop that's always just one step behind him. ROBOT NINJA slashes, stabs, guts, pokes and jabs his way through body after body until his final confrontation with head baddie Sanchez. You'll never see comic books the same way again!

Ok. So it's a gore fest then? Hmm, seems something like 'Robot Ninja' could haven been something a little more kitsch and fun.. but that's only the synopsis...perhaps it's an undiscovered cult gem?



Oh. Ok. Seen the movie? Know something about it? Drop a comment below.